This morning I woke up at 4 am with a hard object on top of my head, forcing it deeper into my pillow; it turned out to be another head. There was a small body twisting and turning against me. I smiled, shoved him back to the center of the bed and heard Justin grunt and roll over slamming into the mattress. Eventually I gave up my half of the king bed and stole into my 3 year old’s room. The black out curtains and a noise maker, calling my name.
I used to be a sleep Nazi. Before Josh was born I read at least 3 different books on sleep. After he was born I turned down any invitation that interfered with his nap or bedtime in anyway. I even walked back to the hotel when we were at Disneyland so he could take a nap (that backfired for the record…. he fell asleep in the stroller and woke up as soon as we got to the hotel.) I don’t remember Josh ever slipping into our bed when he was little, heck he wouldn’t even leave his bed when he woke up. Yelling for me to come get him instead, “Mommy-O! I’m awake!” That lasted until he starting sharing a room with his sister, and I convinced him that I wouldn’t get mad if he just snuck out without waking her up.
In our old houses if any of my three got into our bed at night. I would let them fall back asleep and then carry them back to their dark rooms right across the hall. Now our room is downstairs and their rooms are upstairs. I’ve carried them back maybe 2 times. “Wake me up and I’ll do it,” Justin says. The next morning he rarely remembers that I tried to wake him up.
“How long has ______ been in our bed?” he asks a little grumpily..
“Since around 2.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
Instead if they get too rowdy we just put a blanket and a pillow on the floor, deposit them on top and call it good.
But… I have a secret. I love it when they sneak in occasionally, when they mumble, “Mom I’m scared” with half closed eyes. Or in Anna’s case, “Mom I need you to help me take off my hair.” She’s a sleep walker and talker that one.
Or in Josh’s case, “Everything is big, and I’m so small.”
“Josh are you awake?”
“I don’t know!”
Then they burrow in, their little bodies fitting perfectly into mine as they fall back into an innocent sleep. It won’t last long, these visits in the night. Luckily I can fall back asleep in 3.2 seconds flat, thanks to motherhood.