For me it usually starts with a messy house, no errands to run, friends that are busy (mine and/or the kids) and whiny children. Whiny children is not a key ingredient, but it can sometimes be a contributing factor. Then I fall into a funk, and start talking to myself. Usually I can keep it in my head, but sometimes muttering under my breathe slips out.
“I do the same things over and over and over and over and they are never done.”
“I can’t find any time to work on my goals, or just relax.”
“I don’t want to play any more board games, or hear about kendama tricks, or play pretend, and please please please no more hide and go seek tag or sand monster.”
I reply to myself, “It’s OK, this period of time is short, it’s a priviledge to serve these people you love so much.”
and, “You know that’s not all the way true, you have time to yourself during nap time…. when the big kids are home it’s shorter, and you have a guilt complex the whole time, or you can always get up at 5….”
I’m sometimes more convincing than others.
I had one of those days last week. A messy house I was sick of cleaning and getting after the kids to pick up already, no where to go, Justin had forbidden me from working on our project without him, and my kids were clamoring for attention, that I kind of just didn’t want to give. OK I didn’t want to give, but I felt really guilty about it.
Knowing that they were out of screen time options, my kids asked if they could explore the “mountain”. Our neighborhood backs up to a hill, a lot of the lots on said hill are still undeveloped, making the hill accessible to able bodied explorers.
I let the older two go up without me all the time, but Max is too little, even with their help. If I let the older two go and kept Max at home we would both be miserable. So my plan was to walk over their with them, sit at the bottom and read my book, and listen for any cries for help. Sometimes I am a super fun Mom….
As we got closer I realized that if I attempted to sit at the bottom I would just be running up and down the hill helping Max over rocks constantly. While it would be an excellent workout I didn’t think it would improve my mood at all.
So I grudgingly trudged up the hill with them, trying to hide my grudingness.
As we neared the top, the older two couldn’t contain their excitement. They had houses, they wanted to show me, they lived next door to each other and,
“we need to find Max a house too.”
“Keegan lives over here.”
“This is our firepit.”
As I listened to them my perspective shifted just a little, but enough.
Sometimes, when you are bored as a mother, and the days seem long… TRY HARDER.
Granted that isn’t always the answer, sometimes you need to lock yourself in your room with a good book, or escape with your friends or by yourself as soon as your husband or other hero walks through the door.
However, sometimes it is the answer… try harder.
I learned years ago, during Josh’s light saber years, that battling with light sabers is a lot more fun when you actually try to picture your opponent. As I listened I tried to picture what they were seeing in their minds and add to it, join in, and not sit down and look at instagram whenever there was a lull.
I wasn’t perfect at it, but the sun and spectacular scenery helped. The time passed more quickly until dinner and Daddy.
As we trudged home I was again grateful for my job, and ready to oversee the adventure that was dinner, cleanup, and finally…. bedtime.
PS New umbrellas are always incredibly exciting when you live in the desert.