“How are you?” I ask this phrase every day. To my kids, my neighbors, my husband.
Usually, I don’t hear the answer, my eyes don’t focus on the person, my mind already jumping ahead to the next task.
There are a golden few though who aren’t like that. Who pause at the end of the question, meet your eyes, and wait. We all know a few of them, a mother, sister, father, husband, friend, neighbor….The person who really wants to know. They are gems – and I am not often one of them.
Lately, when people ask me “How are you?” I’ve been breaking with my traditional, “Fine.” or “We’re great! How about you guys?”
I’m an oversharer by nature. Sometimes to the point of awkwardness. There has been more than one occasion when a friend and I have been left awkwardly staring at our shoes after I’ve blurted out a little too much information about bodily functions or a past relationship.
I think I share because I want to connect with people on a deeper level past the superficial stuff we deal with daily….to be understood and still loved.
So for the next little while if you ask me how I’m doing you will get anything from.
Terrible. I feel like I want to throw up every time I move my head.
I feel trapped, what were we thinking? There’s no way out but forward. I’m excited but pregnancy is loooonnnngggg.
I’m worried that I just found myself outside of motherhood and I feel like I’m going to lose that since all I have energy to do is lay on the couch and try and make my children and husband still feel loved despite the lack of food and the mess.
Fantastic! We are so excited for this baby! I’ve known there was one more just for us for years.
And you know…. people have been so kind, so supportive and so willing to commiserate or congratulate as the every changing mood dictates and grateful for an honest answer, an opportunity to connect.
It has reminded me that we all want to be heard, to be listened to. Most of the time nothing more than that is needed.
I want to be the one to ask someone, “How are you?” and look in their eyes, waiting for an honest answer.