I have a distinct memory from when I was 9 or 10 years old. I was sleeping over at my best friends house, pictured on the far left above. Dreams of the future were floating around in that dark room that night: dating, high school, college and beyond. We were so excited about what the future might hold. Until we weren’t. The thought of leaving our families and our homes started to scare us. We sang “I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid” on repeat until we eventually fell asleep. We were the coolest. The same feelings have been flitting around the edges this week. I am so excited for my kids. They go to an amazing school and learn so much. I adored school, and I want them to feel the same excitement. But the thought of them leaving me, even for elementary school….. hurts my heart. The extra hours of productivity are amazing…. peaceful, my house is cleaner and calmer – which is balm to my more introverted soul after a houseful of kids all summer. But, we are so happy right. now. I don’t want anything to change. Which is stupid, because it’s the fact that things change that makes them so incredibly precious.
Chica has been struggling a little with being gone all day. I used to think she was my social one. But as she’s gotten older she loves to be home, drawing, creating, helping me. She loves to have friends at HER house. The first day of school she was over the moon excited. She got home sparkly and bursting with news. “the day went by like this!” she said as her hand flew through the air. When I was cleaning out her backpack I found this…
By day 3, she asked if she could stay home. When I said no, she asked me to walk her to school. I held her hand and could feel the growing pains in her tender heart.We are incredibly happy now. But we were also so happy here. (2)
and here (4). Life is change, life is growth, life keeps getting better. I’ve got to remember that while I try and imprint this particular precious time on my heart.