- I really love my birthday.
That day, or the entire week before, I don’t feel guilty taking up space.
Most of the time there’s a nagging tickle at the back of my mind when I do things solely because I want to. It’s a battle to shove the list of things I “should” be doing instead back into their box.
The nagging tickle grows when I involve other people – “They don’t want to….”, “They have more important things to do” But on my birthday that evaporates – and it’s glorious.
This year, Justin did all the cooking and cleaning for a week – and gave me hours by myself. I made everyone play the game I wanted, clean up the yard, patch holes throughout the house…. And yes, I realize that it might not sound fun to everyone to be off duty from cooking and cleaning, get chores done that have been hanging over your head, and spend hours alone – but that’s who I am at this stage of life – I can own it.
- This is the first year my kids gave me actual presents. Thoughtful. Real presents.
Anna gave me a necklace that says, “I love you.” She wears one that says “I love you more.”
Josh gave me a book I’d only gotten half-way through before I had to return it to the library…. And wrote a note inside. Notes inside the covers of books are my favorite thing – it’s like a snapshot of life.
Max traced his and AJ’s hands, wrote a note, and promised to take care of AJ for the whole weekend… I’m holding him to that.
And not to be outdone – AJ packed up a bag with “so many toys” and gave it to me with joy. But I had to give them back the next day 🙂
- Anna’s birthday is the day after mine. I don’t want a pet – just read my bio – But when her friend came over and asked me with big dark eyes if she could give her a fish. I said yes.
And she got to go to lunch with her Dad – which is possibly the favorite birthday tradition.
- Our family traditions seem to just happen. When I spend deliberate time doing something special and elaborate I end up resentful and invariably no one else enjoys it.
This one, came up organically – an idea one afternoon – and only takes ten minutes to put together.
Right after our family birthday dinner we play a trivia game – celebrating the birthday boy or girl. Usually it’s a kahoot.com that a sibling created. It’s simple, we usually learn something, and they are saved in our profile. It’s crazy to see how the answer to things like – “What does she want to be when she grows up?” have evolved. Anna went from Barbie Rockstar, to waitress, to vet.
- Justin and I often get into “discussions” about my gifts.
I usually ask for time alone or things that I need… He argues that those things shouldn’t be gifts, they should just a be part of my life. Things I should buy as the need arises – or take (as in time alone) – when I feel like I need it. In his opinion, a gift should be something different. Something that you would never buy for yourself.
I argue – that I don’t buy/do those things for myself.
He replies – that’s a problem. Those are all a gift that has already been given – I just need to take it.
This year he gave me headphones. I love them and will use them daily. But I still haven’t taken them out of the box.
Spending significant money on physical objects – that are just for me – makes me anxious.
I’m still trying to figure out why – and if that’s something I want to change.