Real Life Real Joy

Five Thoughts on a Friday

December 7, 2018 by nicoletay3@gmail.com Leave a Comment

1.) Goals. I set lots of goals, and I achieve them in the time frame I allow myself approximately 1% of the time. I achieve them at all…. maybe 50% of the time. But, I decided the purpose of setting goals isn’t actually achieving them. The purpose is pointing myself in the right direction and being patiently persistent about orientating myself again and again…. and again.

2.) I had a mini-break down this week. I love my life. I love that I have the privilege of staying home with my kids. But this week it was hard. I don’t know if it was the cold, (I know I live in a desert, but it was unusually cold and gray this week – please don’t ever make me move to Alaska), the fact that the coldness has made it hard to get up and exercise, the fact that AJ learned to throw tantrums, or some other things that have been weighing on my mind, but I was a tad bit emotional. And I have to say… sometimes being a stay-at-home mom can feel both incredibly boring and totally overwhelming. – luckily the sun came out today and I’m in a much better mood. (above pic)

3.)Josh is going skiing for the first time today. I’m a little nervous he’s going to die, or get really really cold (obviously I’m a desert person). But he told me not to worry. He can ride down the hill by our house on two scooters at the same time so he’ll be fine:)

4.)I can absolutely never predict what my kids will like. With all the toys in our house AJ has been carrying around a wooden horse ornament and grabbed purple sparkly cowboy boots at the store and refused to take them off. Max wants to play chess everyday, which is awesome, but I wouldn’t have predicted it…I’m a little bit nervous for Christmas. Gift giving isn’t always my strongest point.

5.) I’ve been reading a lot of dystopian books lately. So far, my favorite take-away: “Survival is insufficient” – which is apparently from Star Trek? In the story, it’s painted on the side of a broken down truck a traveling symphony uses for storage in post-apocalyptic America. I love it.

To My Littlest Middlest on His Birthday

December 4, 2018 by nicoletay3@gmail.com 2 Comments

My Max,

You have surprised me this year. I thought I had you figured out, what I needed to worry about, your strengths and your weaknesses. I was wrong. I am just beginning to know who you are.

We used to call you relentless. You still are sometimes, but not as often. The relentlessness has been tapered by a new maturity that allows you to stop. To listen.

My sister once said, “Sweet is not a word I would apply to Max,”. As the baby in the family you were a tiny bit… dare I say… entitled.

I don’t know if it’s being a big brother, or being six and then seven, but you are now infinitely sweet. You play with AJ, give him toys, carry him around, share with your siblings, write notes to “Mom” where the O is a heart and told me yesterday, “I wish our whole family could go together (to the park). It’s better when everyone’s there.” When I take you on lunch dates you often ask if Dad, or a sibling can come too.

You’ve always asked excellent questions. But they were in the realm of, “why is the sky blue.”

Last night we were talking about the symbolism of light. About how it symbolizes goodness, truth, clarity, and chases out the darkness. Josh went off into physics, about particles and waves, dichotomy, complexity… You looked at me and said, “But Mom if you look directly at the light it hurts your eyes. How is that good?” I’m still trying to decide if that’s where the metaphor breaks down, or if there is something to symbolically learn from that.

You are quieter than you used to be, a little more serious, obedient at school. But when you get home you can’t wait to run back out the door, and move, until bedtime. When I make you stop and tell me “five things” about your day. You tick them off on your fingers. “I played tag at recess, we ate lunch, I did math, I read a book, and I sat by Tru,” and then you’re gone again. When I make you stop for dinner you always ask, “Can I go back out after?”

You didn’t used to love listening to long books. This summer you earned a free book from Barnes and Noble. I squealed when I saw that Jack was one of your options (books are my thing so yes I squealed, and I love all the books in that series). You smiled at me and picked it even though it was above your reading level. We’ve read it together almost every night since – you follow the story, predict what will happen, and laugh – you have the best laugh – it’s pure spontaneity and joy.

You are honest about your fears.

You used to hate writing. I have to twist your arm to make you write three, not one sentence, in your homework. But, lately we have been writing in journals for three minutes at night and you have never once complained. You let me read it. Proudly showing me your writing and your thoughts, asking to be seen.

Your older two siblings groan when I make plans for us. They no longer like to go to the park/library/hike. You still ask me to ride scooters/play games/look at the stars. I try to say yes because someday it will end and you will have morphed into another equally marvelous self. Different but fundamentally the same.

Thanks for letting me be your mom, my perfectionist, cover your assets playing, killer smile, amazing son who likes to do his own hair because you “do it better than me”,

Mom

P.S. Please stop waking up at 5:30 to see if it snowed. Even if it’s cold enough to snow, it’s still rare in St. George. I promise I will wake you up if it happens.

Be Still

November 27, 2018 by nicoletay3@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Currently, we have a break. Football is done, soccer games are done, basketball doesn’t start until January.

There are, of course, a few stragglers…. lego league, soccer practice. But, in general, our nights are quieter.

A few weeks ago I bought a Christmas study guide from the Small Seed. I had planned to use it for myself, but as I glanced through it, I realized that it would be a beautiful way to celebrate Christmas as a family.

And so,

This year we are celebrating Advent, something new to us.

Traditionally, a candle is lit each week leading up to Christmas. We, will be lighting two, sometimes three because Anna and I decided that more candles are better.

There are traditional scriptures to read. We pick a couple of verses and read them together.

Each week has a theme, Hope, Peace, Joy and Love.

At the end of each reading the study guide has a couple of questions to ponder. I ask the questions and set a timer for three to five minutes. And they write, or think, or doodle – entirely up to them. If AJ is being crazy Justin and I take turns taking him out.

My goals are….

To teach them to be still. Sometimes we can’t learn until we take the time to think, to listen.

To bring the teachings of Christ more fully into Christmas.

To have them see if writing helps them think, and process.

To slow down dinner. No eating and running. As a bonus, it’s harder to climb all over the table if there’s a fire there.

There was some grumbling. An “That doesn’t sound much like a celebration” comment when I enthusiastically explained my plan, a need to go grab computers for those who hate to write by hand, but I have been surprised….

That my kids are mostly attentive – maybe it’s being at the table vs lounging on the couch for scriptures?

At what my children notice from the passages. We read from two different translations and the oldest two have fun comparing the word choices.

At the willingness to write.

The capacity of my seven year old to express himself in words. This is the kid that cried when I told him he had to write three, not one sentence for his homework.

That some of them want to keep writing long after the timer goes off.

Currently, I am loving this season of quiet.

May the holiday season bring, joy, love, and peace.